Careful what you ‘mantra’

They ssay we should be careful what we wih for – well, I’m living proof that we should also be careful what we ‘mantra’…

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but my mantra – or philosophy – or whatever you want to call is is: Obstacles are only put in front of us to test how badly we want something.

Yeah well…

That little gem is (I feel) to blame for my long silence here.  But first an apology. It’s bad form to walk away from your own party and leave the guests to fend for themselves – and that’s what I did. But I’m back and I hope I can make up for my bad manners.

So how did my mantra screw up my life? Because it’s too tempting! Becasue those Gods are sitting up there laughing and saying – “Okay… Let’s see how far she’ll go…”   And so they piled it on. Hard and heavy… 

The result was that this (school) term has probably been the most stressful of my career. I can’t go into details but suffice to say that some of the most heartbreaking moments of my life so far, coincided with some of the most challenging edits of my career.

I’m talking about the revisions of my YA novel Dead, Actually (Allen & Unwin, March 2012). In fact I missed two deadines – admittedly they totalled 17 days so we’re not talking months, but that was a career first for me – and it felt devastating. I must say though that my lovely editor, Anna McFarlane and equally lovely agent, Jacinta di Mase, were brilliant, but that didn’t stop the headslaps. Mine; My head. 

And yes, there were many times of hair tearing frustation; times when I was convinced I’d taken a half decent story and reduced it to blithering mush.  Yep – sleepless nights – many. And in the final two weels I was averaging about 3 hours sleep. I know, my husband timed them…

So, when the word came that Anna loved the revs it was a heady feeling. Was there dancing? Yes! Singing? Yes! Masses of bubbles? Yes and yes!

So, relief, right?

Well, yeah… Until my head hit the pillow.  And then I had to add just one last head smack.  And laid awake all night convincing myself that Anna had more than likley sent that email to the wrong person… 

Paranoid??? Who me???

Hello?? I’m an author!! It’s part of the job description!!


6 Responses

  1. I’m so glad everything went well, in the end! This term was horrid up here as well. Glad my deadline was earlier otherwise I would probably still be underneath the pile trying to swim upwards.

    • Thanks Nat. Here’s to a much smoother, less eventful term 3 for both of us…

      And cheers on making your deadline!! Yay. I’ve got everything crossed for you kiddo but I’m also feeeling Really positive.

      See you in Brissie? xx

  2. So glad you made it through. x

  3. I just found your blog and subscribed, to be updated!

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